Church bulletin bloopers

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water". The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.